Just Can't Shake This Feeling
I've had a lot of conversations lately about relationships. A ton of my friends are just starting up new ones, and we've been pondering what the right and wrong way to approach things are. When I state that I am going to come out and be straight with people around me that I like - they all jump up and tell me not to. Say that if I do, it puts the ball in the other person's court and gives them the power in the relationship. Are they right?
I've just been pondering so many questions about this whole thing. And I feel like I am going to burst at the seems if I don't get them out!
Its always been my way to see something I want, and to go after it. I would rather know the outcome than wait around feeling anxious and nervous, and wondering "what if". And granted, that approach hasn't worked out that great for me in the recent past. But is guarding my gut reaction and natural actions better than just going with them and hoping that eventually someone will come along that can handle that?
How do you get rid of feelings and attractions that you just shouldn't have? For the last couple of weeks I have been desperately trying to convince myself that I'm fooling myself, or that I'm just better off ignoring it all. So I try, and I pretend, and then *poof* I'm reminded again.
I know that I can be intimidating in numerous ways. Do I intimidate guys? Should I try not to? Recently 2 comments were made about me that I find intriguing. (1) I seem confident with who I am and am comfortable in that (2) that I am like 'one of the guys.' Both of these statements are probably quite true. I have worked extremely hard to be who I am today, and, so yes I'm pretty comfortable in my skin. But maybe this is too much for people to handle? AND is being one of the guys a deterant for guys seeing me as 'an available girl'? I used to revel in my tomboyness... but not I'm a little concerned its standing in my way.
But the biggest questions of all are...
How do I just chill out again?
How do I have conversations with my friends with out it stirring in me a deeper need?
How do I refocus myself on the things that are available to me - rather than focusing on the things that are currently out of reach or taken?
How?
I've just been pondering so many questions about this whole thing. And I feel like I am going to burst at the seems if I don't get them out!
Its always been my way to see something I want, and to go after it. I would rather know the outcome than wait around feeling anxious and nervous, and wondering "what if". And granted, that approach hasn't worked out that great for me in the recent past. But is guarding my gut reaction and natural actions better than just going with them and hoping that eventually someone will come along that can handle that?
How do you get rid of feelings and attractions that you just shouldn't have? For the last couple of weeks I have been desperately trying to convince myself that I'm fooling myself, or that I'm just better off ignoring it all. So I try, and I pretend, and then *poof* I'm reminded again.
I know that I can be intimidating in numerous ways. Do I intimidate guys? Should I try not to? Recently 2 comments were made about me that I find intriguing. (1) I seem confident with who I am and am comfortable in that (2) that I am like 'one of the guys.' Both of these statements are probably quite true. I have worked extremely hard to be who I am today, and, so yes I'm pretty comfortable in my skin. But maybe this is too much for people to handle? AND is being one of the guys a deterant for guys seeing me as 'an available girl'? I used to revel in my tomboyness... but not I'm a little concerned its standing in my way.
But the biggest questions of all are...
How do I just chill out again?
How do I have conversations with my friends with out it stirring in me a deeper need?
How do I refocus myself on the things that are available to me - rather than focusing on the things that are currently out of reach or taken?
How?
posted by StaceyLeigh at
11:35 p.m.
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